The 52: Goodbye Mother

   From June 2023 to June 2024 I'll be watching a lgbtqia+ film each week and coming back here with my thoughts, feelings and plenty of hopes we aren't met with the "kill your gays" trope. I call this The 52.

Films where a character pretends their longterm partner is actually just their friend and then makes their longterm partner go through all manner of shit before realising they’ve been treating them terrible and we’re all rooting for the long term partner (thusly referred to as the “ltp”) to RUN because they deserve so much better but ~love~ happens and they don’t?

Image Credit: Wikipedia

Yeah. I don’t like those films.

Goodbye Mother spent the whole film tricking me into thinking subtext meant Vån (the main character) was coming home to see his grandmother a final time before she died. That’s not the mother we’re talking about and no, the film never said it was! (Yes, sometimes films confuse me a lot. Yes, subtext is my specialty.)

Goodbye Mother wasn’t a bad film by any means, and I enjoyed watching an lgbtqia+ story set in a different culture to those I’ve watched so far (more of this, please!) but both the mixture of playing into a trope I throughly dislike and the story itself made it feel bland. I think if I had perhaps seen less queer films by the time I watched it I would have appreciated it more, but as it is I was left feeling as if I’d seen the same film a dozen times, only this time I was seeing it with new actors.

The premise here is that Vån brings his boyfriend (Ian) home with him, with the promise to tell his mother they’re together and that he’s gay. The pressure these situations bring up always make me uncomfortable and I just wish I never had to watch another trope like this (I say, planning a Happiest Season rewatch as I type). Come out when you’re ready! Don’t pretend your partner is your bestie! Don’t bring them home, hide your relationship, and then have sex in the communal shower!

Truth be told, it doesn’t really matter if I didn’t enjoy Goodbye Mother because it wasn’t made ~for~ me. It wasn’t my story being told and I’m proud to see cultural diversity in the films available now, because one day someone Vietnamese might watch this film and see themselves and that’s the most important thing of all. These are chances we aren't just given, and seeing ourselves represented? There are few things better.

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