The Witches #6

 ‘I thought you said you knew what you were doing,’ Daphne hissed, eyeing Lilac in disbelief.

‘You did say that,’ Lilac whispered.

‘I do! I did! I… may not have been quite the adept I imagined I was, or would  but really who doesn’t make the odd misjudgement?’

‘You were missing for two days, Tulip. You only left to pick up the butter!’

‘…butter is better close to the sea?’

‘We were worried! You passed your flying lessons with almost as much praise as Lilac and she can speak to trees- I know I’m being loud but I was so worried!’

And just like that Daphne - stalwart, loud, unflinching Daphne - burst into tears.

Tulip and Lilac looked at her in shock and confusion, unsure what to do. Daphne didn’t cry, not ever. Even when her broom snapped and she fell, breaking her arm and shoulder, she had been able to laugh. Or swear with a smile.

When the witch from the next village said “forever” and then broke her heart Daphne didn’t weep. She would hold her sisters through their pain, brush away their tears, but had never allowed them the chance to do the same.

She never really mentioned it, pushed it aside when anyone did and smiled, always smiled, but her sisters knew that Daphne thought she couldn’t, that it would somehow let them or her or some imagined person down if she did. That they wouldn’t admire her just the same if she sobbed.

It wasn’t true, Daphne knew it wasn’t and yet that didn’t make it go away… and she did not cry.

She reminded her sisters how strong they were, how brave and wonderful, but she didn’t believe the same applied to her.

‘Daph,’ Tulip breathed, bending down to look at her sister’s hidden face. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘What a week,’ Lilac murmured, pulling her sisters into a determined hug, tears now trickling down her own face. Tulip, too, started to sob and they sat there, in a tight huddle on the icy floor, crying together for more things than words could describe.

‘And I just lost track of time,’ Tulip explained, holding her sisters hands and completing her story. ‘I didn’t know where I was or how long I’d been flying, I didn’t even remember the butter until you just mentioned it. I got so… lost.’

‘I’d love to explore the beach you landed on… in?’ Lilac laughed.

‘Maybe we could all go for an adventure next week?’ Tulip suggested. ‘I think a holiday would be good for all of us.’

‘I saw her,’ Daphne admitted into the silence. ‘And she smiled and asked how you both were and pretended it was nothing.’

‘Oh, Daph,’ Lilac breathed. ‘Why didn’t you say?’

‘Because I want to be better! I want to feel whole again! But I still feel the cracks she left and she smiled at me and they all just felt so obvious and I couldn’t bear it.’

‘It’s ok,’ Tulip said, resting a hand on Daphne’s balled fist. ‘There isn’t a timeline for heartbreak.’

‘But… I need there to be,’ Daphne barely got out.

‘Why?’

‘Because otherwise I might always feel like this,’ she whispered. ‘I want to feel like I did before, but I can’t even remember what I was before her. And I don’t know what to do with this… this sadness anymore.’

‘Talk. Cry. Be sad, Daphne, but don’t hide it away, not from yourself and not from us.’

‘That’s not me! I’ve got to be the strong one, because otherwise…’ She fiercely wiped her eyes and her face fell.

‘What?’ Lilac asked. ‘What do you think will happen?’

‘I won’t be able to look after you.’

‘Daphne!’ Tulip yelped. ‘You’re our sister, we don’t need you to look after us.’

‘We just need you to be our sister,’ Lilac agreed.

‘To know that when you tell us it’s alright to be sad, you understand the same is true for you.’

‘To realise that strength is not defined by emotion. Or rather that it is because you are stronger for what you feel and share.’

‘It’s alright, Daphne. You won’t always feel like this but the fact that you do, right now, is nothing to be ashamed of. We’re so, so proud of you.’

‘Today and forever.’

Daphne wept.

This episode is dedicated to my lovely friend Chulie, who reminded me that my emotions are a part of my strength.

The Witches is a serial story, published every week on Thursday/Friday. See you then!