The 52: The Girl King

  From June 2023 to June 2024 I'll be watching a lgbtqia+ film each week and coming back here with my thoughts, feelings and plenty of hopes we aren't met with the "kill your gays" trope. I call this The 52.

Boy oh boy, they really want you to know about horse riding in this film.

Not sure why, but the prolonged sequences are profuse and... look, they happen. They happen a lot. But so does sex on heretic work, so what can I say?

Image credit: Wikipedia

Have you ever heard of the TV series Reign? It’s top tier historical trash and I love it. Wild, very sexually charged, ridiculous costumes and so, so dramatic, Reign is an experience every single time and I… I’m here for it.

This, however, felt like a less good version of Reign (and really, objectively, Reign isn’t exactly fantastic). So that was a shame.

Our lead is Christina, raised as a boy (we’re not told why) and crowned as a Queen. When looking into this film (I read the back of the DVD case) there’s a real focus on this aspect of her upbringing, but it spans barely 2 minutes of screen time and, during those two minutes, Christina is referred to with female pronouns and as “Queen/Highness”. Basically… we see that she wears britches? And maybe that was super super masculine back then, but, again, there’s no discourse. Just ~we’re gonna raise you as a boy~ ~ok now you’re queen cool!!!~

And I’ve got to say, I know *heaps* about Mary Queen of Scots from watching Reign, but I know pretty much nothing about Christina from watching The Girl King. It was pretty boring, pretty dense, and just… a bunch of long winded discussions on religion interjected with horse riding, men throwing tantrums because they weren’t married to the Queen, and Christina gazing longingly at her Ladies Maid.

Also sex on a book about the devil. That really does happen. Tits out and everything.

It was ridiculous, but not the way Reign is ridiculous. It was just… blatantly not good. It did feature some very nice flouncing around in flowy shirts, though, and the Queen of Sweden bestowing the official title of “bed warmer” to her crush.

And cadavers!

Props, though, I ended up writing many quotes down on a tissue box and nary a periodn of time goes by when I don't think about these three:

“You see, friendship between women is much closer than the friendship of men and can be easily misconstrued”

“When will you stop kidding yourself my pathetic papa”

“I waited too long for you and by Christ balls I don’t like to be kept waiting”

Worth it? Worth it.

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